LIVING WITH A SECRETIVE SPOUSE

We can’t deny the fact that it’s impossible to share every minute detail in a relationship, but a certain level of transparency is needed. However, what if you find yourself in a situation wherein your partner is overly secretive?

Being in a relationship with someone there are so many things to look out for, and keeping of secrets is one vital thing we should work on before it shatters everything you’ve built together.

It is necessary that we trust our partner and try not to always sneak-peek on their stuffs but sometimes we can’t help it especially when we get some funny feelings about their attitude towards stuffs.

I need us all to understand that once you make up your mind to spend the rest of your life with an individual, the person automatically becomes part of everything you get yourself involved with, we should not forget that sometimes we need our spaces too, everyone wants a moment of being alone and having stuffs done their own way and some people are introverts and may not like to always talk but it should not be at the detriment of your partner’s feelings.

We should always put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and ask ourselves these questions: how will I feel if I was the one being treated that way, how will I react if it was me, this thing am doing is it worth doing?

I know that sometimes it’s better not to share it with your partner because of the way they react to stuffs but hey! You can help each other become better people.

Let’s talk about how to deal with this lifestyle.

• We need to learn that nagging doesn’t solve any problem, stop being a nagging partner.
• Make him or her feel comfortable to tell you stuffs.
• You are supposed to feel at home and at peace with your partner but when it’s the other way round trust me he won’t tell you nothing, you’ll just be living like flat mates, funny yea. So make your partner feel at home and at peace with you.
• Learn to stop being a loose mouth or a gossip, how do you expect him to tell you private stuffs when he knows that in no distant time it’ll become a world news or family and friends gist.
• Ladies what he’s saying might not be soothing to you, but you have to learn that argument, quick judgement, condemnation doesn’t fix problems. Men like to be respected irrespective of whatever it is, so a calm and respective dialogue session with your partner can go along way. Some ladies will say how about my self-respect; remember that once you become his wife you are his next to run-to for advice or help so bring your ego down and work things out with him.
• Make up your mind to forgive, it could be hard but trust me payback is not an option.
• Give him or her sometime.
• Talk about it; on this you have to be right with your timing, you don’t just bump in on your partner and start talking about it, be mindful of his or her mood.
• Leave third parties out of the issue.
• Stop spying on your partner just trust him, I know that the trust might have been broken but you just have to learn to forgive and help each other through it all. The more you keep spying the more problem you create for yourself.
• Stop comparing your partner with your ex or other people’s relationship, you should both sit down and talk about the thorn that might be tearing you apart.
• Learn to confide in your partner and yes we should stop keeping secrets too, it hurts a lot when your partner gets to find out from another source what you could have just told him or her.
• Get busy but not too busy that you miss out on very vital matters in your relationship.

• Go for counseling if need be.
• Learn your partner.

• Pray for your partner, he or she might be going through some stuff and don’t know how to share it.

These things listed here are not that easy to achieve trust me, but it could be a lot more easier if only we can just trust our partners not to always do something bad, believe your partner is a good person, see the better side of your partner and you won’t have issues, just be positive about everything.

It's better to be a praying partner than to be a nagging partner.

TOGETHER WE CAN WIN!!!!!!.

LET'S SAVE OUR HOMES TODAY.

Feel free to drop questions in the comment section.

My Facebook and Twitter handle is: Regina Igwe

You can also send a mail to quingina0@gmail.com

Thank you for your time.